If given opportunities of study of my contained blog complete, as described the masks of earthly realities in the Castaneda writings . compare the masks in the uranthia in light of arils words and discover... Many a mask abound even in pshchatropic drugs no portraing of histories completeness.

And when earth has reached its final moments, the sepulcher's will be cinder rock and no records on remain. there will be fables of from our history what not to do or be like on some distant planet systems far, far away .But know, that matters not for life continues anyway. You may awake from an afternoon nap and be someplace different. Run to the next room of people, your wife, her cone-head lover, your child and a woman with silver sequin skin and yell to them ‘what year is it!’ and they stand, dumbfounded at the question. You respond with adamance dammit its important and ask again, and they respond 1738 and you know for sure from that moment on things have suddenly changed. For your awareness has moved.

My thoughts on god are simple. Seek the god not before the earthly one but the one beyond. One who needs no nemesis for the darkness is just a choice of tones, not mood modification. Yes, there are visions responsible and gifted thought interjections of a creation of life in a different long ago time. The earthly preaches eternal life in afterlife, but do not consider eternity infinite time, nothing of before. Thinking instead life beginning is upon the human birth. The below pdf explains a different scenario and just fits to truth, some of truth anyway.

My life may end soon. May be a marked man for execution, who knows. I do not know.

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something is dfferent. the external outdoor communicator is being very quiet. feeling is different as well. trouble must be on the way. today is 4/1/2026 30 minutes until midnight DST EST

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Having been manipulated in moods for so long I am now completely worthless feeling of my self unless the harassment is seriously severe. Or are they giving me this worthless feeling as well. The before topic of these feelings was my life as a father from the very day of my son’s birth, but there is more to it than a self reflection.
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Under this manipulation you feel no true sense of self. And they will not let you change from self life reflections. Found a great book. Will post a link below from amazon. It’s simply chocked full of information of self realizations of being a male from birth to death. Me? I look past most of the religious aspect references except the ones about ‘elders’. Not that i'm not religious, just been through a lot of blames and accusations from the religious and their book is the only one they read. and the christians of earth do not even really think about what they say. The psychology is priceless in helping understand life and our society. The author is a pastor and adult man therapist. a much worthy read. And the manipulators in my life, let me become, let me change? No, they do not, no matter.
please everyone read and share this knowledgeable book

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my favorite self question is 'do you feel real' at this present early sunrise moment about 75-25% real and manipulated. the past few days its been more of 95-5% real - manipulated. think they just had other priorities other than me. for this is kinda unusual. awoke about 3:45am or so, been having coffee - honey lemon tea, and some breakfast and some smokes. its now 7:30am. oddly enough earthly air-waves propigation also seems to be a mood factor, possibly anyway, unsure.

just waiting on trouble
what should i say - deeply respect you. for trying to help and there is really nothing you can do to help. no one can. Optimistic, pragmatic, redundant, dogmatic, materialistic and least not forgotten accomplishment rewards of/with pride, confusions also - words with feeling, mood and manipulatable usable and eraseable. from the mid 1980's time into today as experienced, anyway, much longer maybe for some.

one trillion sextillion four quaddrillion 10 years and a few weeks ago god was real and adam and eve became somewhat physical. perhaps in a difference universe perhaps without colors other than light and dark perhaps not so far away. perhaps you think me just crazy. thats o.k. too.

psychobabble we do not need.

of the many different types of loves,
yours truly...me.

i hope you find the everything completness and the loving kindness you deserve.

it may lay only within the ether of the after somewhere in time. something i hope everyone finds.
will it ever be earthly...ever
be it human or the others.
and if more trouble finds me, so be it.

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and trouble found me after this posting within my sleeping dreams of horrors, unbalanced liberty and shame from the manipulator as to void the above emotions.

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This morning, different, its been five-six days or so since the dreams and the mood harassing communicators are gifting me a feeling of energetic manic disappointments. This feeling inspires a somewhat mood of stupidity of actions. Like being a smart-ass or sarcastic to someone or simply doing something to get yourself in trouble with others. by being mindful of this experience one can choose the high road of actions and not comply. Just be mindful and let the bastards not be successful.

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. Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry
Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay. Want more of everything ready-made. Be afraid to know your neighbors and to die. And you will have a window in your head. Not even your future will be a mystery any more. Your mind will be punched in a card and shut away in a little drawer. When they want you to buy something they will call you. When they want you to die for profit they will let you know. So, friends, every day do something that won’t compute. Love the Lord. Love the world. Work for nothing. Take all that you have and be poor. Love someone who does not deserve it. Denounce the government and embrace the flag. Hope to live in that free republic for which it stands. Give your approval to all you cannot understand. Praise ignorance, for what man has not encountered he has not destroyed. Ask the questions that have no answers. Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias. Say that your main crop is the forest that you did not plant, that you will not live to harvest. Say that the leaves are harvested when they have rotted into the mold. Call that profit. Prophesy such returns. Put your faith in the two inches of humus that will build under the trees every thousand years. Listen to carrion – put your ear close, and hear the faint chattering of the songs that are to come. Expect the end of the world. Laugh. Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts. So long as women do not go cheap for power, please women more than men. Ask yourself: Will this satisfy a woman satisfied to bear a child? Will this disturb the sleep of a woman near to giving birth? Go with your love to the fields. Lie down in the shade. Rest your head in her lap. Swear allegiance to what is nighest your thoughts. As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it. Leave it as a sign to mark the false trail, the way you didn’t go. Be like the fox who makes more tracks than necessary, some in the wrong direction. Practice resurrection.

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Thoughts about awareness.
Consider lifetime changes – dimensions – death rebirth and time – conscious of awareness and liminal feelings. The body awareness/communications with spirit.

What is forgotten, what is just non-awareness at birth? Languages difference before birth and after. The awareness at/of conception. From two become one and cellular awareness's, the sperm the egg. Is there a death of singular of the two when they become one? Or simply growth of each into one . in castanedas writings it seems something of both parents leave (die?) of their luminous selves when they have children.

The age of awareness seems different for some people have or can recall with technique even their conception event.

The age of maturity and how it has changed through generations present. Feeling more mature at 12 than 22. difference of men and women in age and maturities.

How can an individual be in different dimensional lives at the same time and all have separate awareness complete as you have this very moment in this experience? Your sleeping dream-scapes and actions. Are they in time different or dimensionally different all in the now moment or both individually in different dream experience.

Erasure of experiences as portrayed in the below PDF file.

And in my life,the sneeze, cough, burp, hic-up, fart, pain and disease (moods?) of the physical body being spirit signals of not true, true, mistake, mistaken, no, right and wrong yes and no, lifestyle and direction of.Spirit or the manipulator doing such.

and i'm really not feeling it right now. feeling down, tired not creative thinking mode and will continue later...but as a footnote heard that drinking booze before conceiving causes downe syndrome who knows about smoking dope. bruce lee just taught me in so many words what you think and say about yourself becomes yourself. from life experience from childhood on i was taught from my parents and the communicators in my mind that everything is my fault, everything that happens. and i am fearful to change from the fear of future blames. for if there is any change of attitude then blames will have to be faced. went to a therapist, she was a blinded idiot for i told her of how there is self blame for everything and she didn't address it at all. not one ioda. fucking manipulators of life who do not listen to truth of an external communicator causing nothing but cahoses i am not psychic. you ignorant bastards who just speculate within your ignorant limited knowledge without experiences. and cannot do anything but feel pities within patiences and listen. and as listening, learning of old leadership EVILS and their future distorted cairns.

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dear persistant assistant communicator and mood manipulator
why do you give solid resolve and just as quickly turn around and give fears and confusions of a schizophrenic mindset! you are nothing but a coward. a fearful dictator a bully and afraid of truth.

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admirations, thoughts of...
there is no self admiration of this life. and i do not want any from others. it will be simply your dissapointments. please remember this. life is change and mine will be shown the worst of lifestyle. so it feels. and unless the political climate changes, the world over will be changed as well, and not for the better.

children, we all seek admirations. please, use a natural intelligense within maturities way. don't seek, then wait for the natural mature love of another which is not physical but a spiritual love of one another. if epstein has taught us anything it is this. there are many, many who will take advantage of your immaturities in seeking an admiration. you will become a victim, entrapped. and so many immature so called adults do the same...make mistakes in their careers looking for admirations of trying to force promotions. a supervisor once told me a story...that an employee came to his office asking him 'what is MY near future within this job?'. the super was dumbstruck at such a wannabe oof/with needing an unerned admiration and promotion. and super the answer is simple. say if you aren't satisified within your present duty then hit the door. i have 10,000 more just like you who would appreciate your job. and employees first you must be completely satisfied where you are at right now and portray an impecible duty with a job extremely well done and wait for opportunities, not try to force them.

clergy and parent. the symptoms are easy to spot. teach your youngsters how not to be taken advantage of, please. and you better not take advantage of. there are plenty who will cut you deep. tell them what they feel we all feel. the need of admirations. teach them what should be by educations and maturities. make it a resoulition in your life adults.

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relationships, thoughts of...
alone within myself. no one to share with ,that is like the way i am in knowledge of and of myself. there is no true other me to talk to. known of anyone who has lived in the same cosmic personal way of. no one who really understands the experiences similiar of me. so it is mostly shared within with my cosmic communicators . but there is always fears of betrails even with them. because its not known just who or what they really are. they are sight and sound, feelings and implanted though also at time controllers of actions. anything, mind and body can be manipulated. in the 1960s and 70s they were first person manipulators known as m.k. ultra. today its done with distance using alien technologies. thats all i have to go on as so far as who. other than completely aliens, thats possible as well. and its felt unsafe even to say this.

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Nervana Nevada. Thoughts within.
soThe wasp and fly met in the middle of the windows glass. One on one side the other on the other side. And they asked each other at the same time, how did you get past? Unseen to the two was that they both came from the same prison, simply the opposite side. They walked up, down, around until they both died only to be reborn a wasp, a fly both without memory of the prison. An abyss to be within with eternal spirit life memory is better than ignorant paradise. Within your spirit lays the creation imagination and beautiful intent and the ability to form a universe harmonious. Give me a void nothing any day. The infinite is nothing and everything at the precise same time. Ancient river stone lying in the driest of desert beds fill me with your memories. Hidden temple pathways. Lanterns in the skies. Where will be hearing from Mr. Continuous assistant communicator, where next will you take me? Obsidian reflection of the all seeing eye and/or, 'how goes the course' my Americas' astronaut. search your infinite spirit memories, my friends. Search for your infinite hence forgotten. Look beyond the beautiful mesmerizing horizons...

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being alone in relationships...
and in the cosmos of life, mine especially there be tons of unknown debris of words and wars of words yet to be in carport and living rooms of clamoring alone. only one person accepts this responsibility of a reality, me. it could be at any moment, a new beginning again within the limitless possibilities of topics. do not think you would accept this lifestyle of/in a silent acceptance of ignoring societies life like i have to be without, and alone but not ever really alone without feeling of you yourself, too ignored. just how it's been for many years past and will continue until death. thats just the way this shit is. so i givith freedom time to others to be themselves and for me to be myself as well. there is understanding of the crazy factor in it and how it seems from experience of the different realities viewed and experienced. after awhile one becomes exausted, depressed after so much clamor. rest, real rest is non-existant for they, it, whatever is always present. as unnatural as it is, sometimes i feel the confusions of total insanities. the truth will drive one insane or give them freedoms. is the manipulator men or the old dominion or both. it is a total invasion of privacy to be within someones thought. but that is the way the invadors live. they know no different.