2por.com blog of one with a psychosis

Trying to reduce the amount, or just quit altogether.  Why do it?  It gives me a successful feeling, an accomplishment and a bit of self admiration. It also makes me…

of my mind and some foreign realities.  Dreams of a bed full of rats then shames and odd creation homes my wife owns.  People without animation, spiritless just for their…

The loss of margin of body mind when death arrives, hope it's kind. We never know what lays beyond for the spirit journey, hope it's kind and purposeful travels of…

Or generic Zoloft was a terrible experience.  In asking for an antidepressant this was prescribed.  Made me feel terrible.  Quit trying it two days ago and feeling better. So, how…

Projections - everyone telling me about themselves and looking for an admiration in return.  i think everyone is lost and lives in ignorance.  And me, feel my life is but…

The body.  The spirit.  Reproduction.  Life.  What is it like elsewhere?  Why does a spirit choose to be physical?  Planets of recreation?  Does the physical have a zombie life?  Before…

Where are the tears when you need a cry. Even the clouds are far away, the ground hardened clay. Depressions last for hours, and my eyes are dry. Can there…

Wasn't the car driver, couldn't have been.  The trip was about 45 minutes both ways, their and also back.  Felt like a panic attack all the way.  It stresses me…

Strange but feel so much better at night after 11pm and also the early morning darkness hours.  Less depressed, more awake and alive just all around better than the daylight…

Stressed out.  Finished reestablishing and reposting most of the blog. Stressed about the ecommerce conversion of a couple of months ago so it was deleted.  Despise my thoughtless ways of…

THE NECESSITY OF FAITH - by Wendell Berry True harvest no mere intent may reap. Finally we must lie down to sleep And leave the world all we desire To…

Bruce Lee just taught me in so many words what you think and say about yourself becomes yourself. from life experience from childhood on i was taught from my parents…

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay. Want more of everything ready-made. Be afraid to know your neighbors…

My favorite self question is 'do you feel real' at this present early sunrise moment about 75-25% real and manipulated. The past few days it's been more of 95-5% real…

Let's consider a busy city street scene. There is a shop owner along the street working on his high above business sign replacing a light-bulb climbing an old shaky tall…