2por.com blog of one with a psychosis

Been very distraught about/caused by my reactions to so much celebrating this holiday.  Such waste is what i see.  Why is it a downer to me and an upper for…

Self dependency, have none, never have.  No strength of will, no plans, no successes.  The convenience of surviving - easy water, easy food, shelter, transportation too convenience and all of…

To say ventures into the midnight mind wishing astral and cosmic travels of the spirit leaving physical behind willing the spirit to journey ventures of worlds unknown to see and…

things now feared to discuss... the 5th dimension experience the sandman memory the unconscious events the scooter evil other life dreams and life endings flashing

Trying to reduce the amount, or just quit altogether.  Why do it?  It gives me a successful feeling, an accomplishment and a bit of self admiration. It also makes me…

of my mind and some foreign realities.  Dreams of a bed full of rats then shames and odd creation homes my wife owns.  People without animation, spiritless just for their…

The loss of margin of body mind when death arrives, hope it's kind. We never know what lays beyond for the spirit journey, hope it's kind and purposeful travels of…

Or generic Zoloft was a terrible experience.  In asking for an antidepressant this was prescribed.  Made me feel terrible.  Quit trying it two days ago and feeling better. So, how…

Projections - everyone telling me about themselves and looking for an admiration in return.  i think everyone is lost and lives in ignorance.  And me, feel my life is but…

The body.  The spirit.  Reproduction.  Life.  What is it like elsewhere?  Why does a spirit choose to be physical?  Planets of recreation?  Does the physical have a zombie life?  Before…

Where are the tears when you need a cry. Even the clouds are far away, the ground hardened clay. Depressions last for hours, and my eyes are dry. Can there…

Wasn't the car driver, couldn't have been.  The trip was about 45 minutes both ways, their and also back.  Felt like a panic attack all the way.  It stresses me…

Strange but feel so much better at night after 11pm and also the early morning darkness hours.  Less depressed, more awake and alive just all around better than the daylight…

Stressed out.  Finished reestablishing and reposting most of the blog. Stressed about the ecommerce conversion of a couple of months ago so it was deleted.  Despise my thoughtless ways of…

THE NECESSITY OF FAITH - by Wendell Berry True harvest no mere intent may reap. Finally we must lie down to sleep And leave the world all we desire To…